Washing Pots Again... for the Kingdom of God.

This is what Paul says to his church before his departure for Jerusalem. His close friends and church members warned him about the suffering he will experience the moment he sets foot in the city. However, Paul is adamant. 

"I know I'm walking into a hard path. But isn't the Gospel worth it?"

These are the verses I meditated on while preparing for my second term onboard Logos Hope. I also glanced at them when the flight dropped me in Ghana on September 4th. 

Three weeks went by. Writing this, taking in the scenery of the port of Takoradi, I look back and realize just how faithfully God has been teaching me the meaning of the verses. 

"What do you mean no one knows?" 

My voice was trembling as I looked at my boss in the eye. It didn't make sense to me what he had just shared with me. It was drawing midnight. 

This is how it went down. Remember how, in my last letter, I described the reasons for coming back to Logos Hope for the second time? One big reason was because of this project I was invited to head up—reviving Creative Ministries onboard. This was a project my chief supervisor initially encouraged me to dream about, which then I worked hours and hours to prepare for. 

Therefore, when I heard the news that night in the office, I was quite shocked. It was a news that unfortunately, my job expectations as well as the meeting minutes around my coming onboard were never communicated in detail with the rest of the department. This was very different from what I had originally heard and promised. I was under the impression that the project I was invited to work on was something everyone else understood and had given a green light. 

But now, suddenly there was a need for a number of unnecessary arguments in which I would have to defend my projects and convince people of my value in the team, draining my energy in fighting for my position—all because of a poorly done communication. And all this would have to be done within the 3 months I signed on for, which isn't enough time at all. 

The next morning, the vessel sailed into in Takoradi. As always, the missionaries onboard came out on the deck playing drums, dancing, waving national flags. It was a scene I had certainly missed, but my mind was still filled with the news from the night before. 

It was a jumble of emotions—disappointment in my leader who had invited me but failed to do the necessary communications, a familiar sense of fatigue with the "office politics" I had experienced during my first term onboard, as well as a sense of pride that shouted, "But I'm here to do something important and fancy." On top of this mess, a question arose: 

"Is it truly worth my time spending all my energy in continuing in this battle, just so I can do the projects I want to do?" 

This led me to a difficult decision at that moment: to pull out of this project altogether. 

Which naturally led me to two options: 1) Since I was no longer able to do what I came here to do, I could just quit and go home. OR 2) I could stay and continue serving in a different department. 

"They called a plumber, but now they don't need plumbing. 

Shouldn't he then just leave?"

Frustrated, I asked my parents over the phone. Understanding my frustration, my parents didn't have much to say. However, after a minute of silence, Mom opened up and challenged me: 

"I remember your heartfelt prayers in Korea about your second term on Logos Hope. Why don't you take some time revisiting what God had shared with you then?"

She was right. I wasn't necessarily praying only about my projects onboard Logos Hope. Then, I remembered the heart for the ship's community God had given in me in Namibia. What about the hope for a revival God placed in my heart? And last but certainly not least, the purpose of joining Logos Hope in the first place: sharing the hope in Jesus Christ with the people who don't know yet. And the fact that where I work does not really matter when it comes to this purpose of mission. 

As I was praying about this, a promise I had made with the Lord slowly surfaced: 

"Lord, I go back to Logos Hope to build a Secret Place with you." 

A place of worship in the secret. That was my desire. And the question was clear: Am I true to this prayer? Am I willing to give up my rights for this? Am I willing to consider my ministry experience, knowledge, and talent as nothing, if it meant that I can truly find a place of worship to my God? 

If I end up in a team in which I would have to wash dishes every day, instead of building Creative Ministries in an office, would I still be happy, as long as I am able to share the hope in Jesus Christ? 

This seemed to be that attitude Paul was talking about. If I could learn what he meant through this very choice I'm about to make... wouldn't it be worth it? 

Washing Pots Again... for the Kingdom of God. 

So I made a decision to come to Galley—Logos Hope's kitchen that feeds more than 400 people, three meals a day. Morning Shift starts at 5:55AM and Afternoon Shift starts at 12:30PM. We cook, wash dishes and pots, clean the dining room, and wait for guests in events. It's the team in which I started my Logos Hope time, in 2019. It feels like being back home. 

'A guy who came back onboard for a special project' is now washing pots in the galley again. It's intriguing enough for other missionaries to come up and ask me why. I'm making an effort to not dishonor the leaders who made the work-related mistakes, while trying to explain how this "special project" is still going on in my heart, with a bit of a different meaning. 

I'm also finding opportunities to share the Gospel outside of my working hours. In fact, it's easier to balance my energy and time when I'm in Galley, as my work does not follow me into my free time. When I'm in Morning Shift I use the afternoon to connect with the visitors down in Book Fair, and when I'm in Afternoon Shift I use the morning time to invest in the ship's community.  

Because of the nature of my job of being inside all the time, going outside through opportunities like 'Cday (Connect Day)' suddenly feels more dear to me. The photo you see above was taken on a Cday where we joined forces with an NGO in Takoradi, which usually cleans out the trash-filled drains in the villages.

Before we started our work on this particular Cday, we went into a police station of the village for a 'meet and greet' with the Chief Inspector. To our surprise, he was a man who was on fire for sharing the Gospel and had so many questions to ask. "How should I share the Gospel with my friends in town, balancing the truth about eternal damnation and grace of God?" His questions were genuine and humble, to which we were honored to share our faith with him. After about an hour of heartfelt discussion, he was happy to welcome us into the village to start our ministry that day. What an exchange! 

Despite the fact that I can no longer continue with the project I had thought I could, I still see many windows of opportunities in which I can use my gifts and passion. I'm learning the everyday-level joy of "doing what I can do, with what I have". Doing a Bible Study with a brother every night, playing in international worship bands, or having cups of coffee with people who are curious about my Logos Hope experience—all some of what I get to do each day in thankfulness. 

Quick Summary

Prayer Points

1. Thank you God for answering the prayer for "giving up on my plans for God's leading". Please pray that I may continue in this mindset, with humility. 

2. Please pray that I may have grace over the people who have made the mistake. That I may have wisdom when I speak of this situation, especially within the community. 

3. Please continue to pray for my solitude time with the Lord. That I may be filled with His Spirit in the Secret Place, drawing my strength for the day from it. 

If you would like to be a part of this ministry financially, please contact me. 

May God Bless You all,

Taehee Um 

본 뉴스레터는 메일리(maily)를 통한 이메일 구독과 카카오채널 '로고스호프 엄태희'를 통해 받아보실 수 있습니다. 구독해 주세요!