이름도 모르는 세번째 YOU

1. 평소에 애착을 갖는 물건이 있나요?

As I grew older, I realised that ‘Attachments are the cause of suffering’. Whether you are attached to a person or a materialistic thing, in the end it will only bring you pain which is why, I don’t believe in having any attachments. I am not addicted to anything, and I am happy not to be :)

2. 음식을 먹을 때 본인만의 습관이 있나요?

Something very peculiar about my food habits is that sometimes I crave a specific food like for example, Sushi. But if I don’t get sushi right now, I feel agitated. I want to be able to have a particular food when I want to have it otherwise it hurts my feelings.

3. 본인의 손글씨에서 마음에 드는 점과 마음에 들지 않는 부분이 있나요?

During school, my handwriting always used to keep changing. Also the way I would hold a pen to write, would always keep changing. So much, that sometimes my teachers used to ask me ‘This is not written by you’ and I used to explain that I have written it myself but it’s just that my handwriting always keeps changing. Now that I am older it doesn’t change anymore, I think my body and mind was just trying to find the handwriting style that suited me best.

4. 남들보다 특별히 예민한 대화 주제가 있나요?

I don’t like to let people know everything about me, I believe I’m a very secretive person. I like to be that way because, even if they know everything, what can be done about it? The past can’t be changed, it can only be accepted. When I meet someone for the first time or second time and they ask me too many questions about myself, I don’t like it too much even though I understand that they are probably curious about me and want to know me. My past is a sensitive topic for me, so I don’t talk about it much. In fact, I even regret telling a few people from the past about me in such depth.

5. 남들에 비해 더럽다고 여기는 일이 있나요?

I have noticed that every time I am overly stressed or overthinking, my body automatically starts cleaning, like a machine. I start organising things that are out of order or clean dirty surfaces, it’s like a coping mechanism or a good distraction for me.

6. 언젠가 꼭 도전하고 싶은 일이 있나요?

Something I really wish to obtain in life is to let go of all my expectations. To live on the edge and never expect anything from tomorrow, but rather be grateful for anything and everything that tomorrow brings. Humans have so many expectations, from their family, from their partners, from their children or siblings. But truly those who are happy, hold no expectations from anyone or anything. Expectations are the root cause of all problems, if you don’t expect, nothing will have the power to hurt you :)

7. 남들에게 기억되고 싶은 본인의 모습이 있나요?

If I was to die today, leaving everything behind, I would want to be remembered as someone who was extremely grateful for everything she had. Who had so much love to give and did not wish bad upon anyone. Who wanted to live life to the fullest and who wasn’t scared of death.

8. 정말로 안고쳐지는 습관이나 편견이 있나요?

Usually, I don’t like the sound of someone chewing really loud. But I am trying to change that perspective because sometimes maybe the food is just too delicious and to get the full feel of it you just have to chew out loud!!

9. 누군가를 너무 사랑한다고 느낀 적이 있나요?

I have loved someone too much. More than I loved myself. I put that person before myself, before my needs and wants, before my thoughts and opinions. I completely changed from ‘Person A’ to ‘Person B’ for that person. Always gave more importance to what they felt was wrong and right, their likes and dislikes, their comfort and discomfort above my own. That person loved me too, but I loved so so much more and realised that you must not love someone with your entire soul, with your entire being. Because they will never love you the same way. You will cross oceans fro them, but they will barely cross a river for you :)

10. 스스로 내려본 사랑의 정의가 있나요?

I am so conflicted about the existence of love. I don’t know if it is real or not. Since I was a kid, I have only seen love fail, around me. I have seen betrayal, I have seen hurt and anguish, I have not seen a single relationship work out. But I have seen unconditional love when a mother lovesher child. Or a father loves his grandchildren. I think that is the only real love. The love of a mother for her child, there is no love greater than that in my eyes.

11. 좋아하는 운동이 있나요?

I like meditation. Some say that meditation is all about your breathing. You have to be conscious of every breath you inhale and every breath you exhale. It makes you realize the most intricate value of life, a breath. You have to control each breathing movement, to feel fully alive. Otherssay that meditation is about thinking nothing, mind empty. But I have seen some of my most beautiful memories during meditation. I think it depends from person to person, whatever bring you peace.

12. 특정한 느낌이 드는 색이 있나요?

Green is my favourite colour. Earlier I only used to like seeing the colour green but now I want to wear green more often. Buy green clothes or bags or anything green related. In particular, my favourite shade of green is ‘Sage Green’. Every time I look at it, it fills me up with tranquility and serenity. It is the colour of nature, nature is the only thing thats right about this world.

13. 특히 좋아하는 향기나 냄새가 있나요?

The perfect smell combination for me is - fresh out of a shower, hair smells of shampoo, thenmy favourite body lotion and skincare, and lie down on a fresh out the wash, bedsheet. To me, that is peace.

14. 잘 이해되지 않는 사회현상이 있나요?

I do not understand treating someone unfairly just because of their skin colour. To me, in my head, that will never ever make sense. Skin is just the outside layer of a body, what is inside? A heart, lungs, liver, two kidneys, nerves and veins, is that different as well? Is blood different as well? Some have pink blood some have blue? We are all made of the same exact thing, so why does outer appearance of colour affect inner mentalities and thoughts? It is ridiculous to me.

15. 관계를 끊는 본인만의 방식이 있나요?

I don’t particularly like being in touch after breaking up. Otherwise, it doesn’t feel real. I completely disappear from that person’s life, even though we ended on good terms. Being in touch for me is like considering them an option still, someone you want to go back to. Eventhough I would have love and respect for that person in my heart, I would not want to talk to them like nothing ever happened.

16. 눈맞춤같은 짧은 순간으로 사랑에 빠질 수 있다고 생각하나요?

If falling in love with a simple eye-contact would be that plausible and easy, everyone today would be in love. I think to love someone, you to completely and fully surrender to how they are and accept them that way. To know every little intricate detail and embrace it. To not want to control them or change them in a way that you’d like but to let them be exactly as they were before they met you. To add to their life, not take away from it.